Hospital 101

We are in again. Fever yesterday morning, admission, now waiting on our holy trinity of discharge. For some reasons I have thought a lot about our past admissions and in my head I compiled a hospital 101. You might find it useful.


Be patient. Like a saint really. Everything takes ages, but usually does get done in the end.

Chase things up. Yes, I know I just said to be patient, but anything that takes more than three hours might mean they have forgotten.

Bring slippers. The hospital is the only place where my feet seem to swell.

Drink plenty of water.

Bring analgesic of your choice (Non drowsy helps). When we are in hospital I become a painkiller junkie. I think it is a combination of air conditioning, artificial lighting and worry, but I suffer from almost constant headaches when we are here.

A good face cream and hand lotion is very helpful, air quality (see above) and sleepless nights are not good for complexion.

Bring headphones. And something to listen too, obviously.

Remember that the screaming baby down the corridor is not yours. Use your headphones to distract/mute the noise.

Also remember that children who are screaming are not the ones that one should worry about.

Try to eat fruit. Diet in the hospital inevitably consists of lots of microwaved stuff. Try to have some fresh food around. It will help with feeling less sluggish.

Sleep when you can. Seriously. As a matter of fact, eat, wash, go to the toilet, change… When you can.

Be seriously grateful if you get a cubicle with a toilet.

Check your child’s medication.

Stay positive. The collective consciousness says- Ill. Pain. Suffering. Don’t be dragged into it.

Wash your hands.


Freak out every time the crash cart is being raced down the corridor.

Make any presumptions about the state of health of other patients. Don’t burden yourself with more worry.

Feel guilty about eating microwave foods.

Worry about leaving five year old alone in the room for a few minutes while warming up microwave food, shower, change, go to the toilet…

Forget to look after yourself. Go for walks, take the stairs, brush hair and teeth.

Be afraid to question medical staff and their decisions. A more suitable option can almost always be agreed on.

Forget to take the opportunity to cuddle up in bed with your baby.

Worry about telling student nurses that they are fitting the blood pressure cuff the wrong way round.

Touch anything unless totally necessary.

Become a germophobe.



3 thoughts on “Hospital 101

  1. Do – remember that one day the friggin ‘beep beep beep’ noise wont be a mantra in your head!!!!!!!! yes seriously I cant remember the pattern of it – yay – that said when i do hear it, boy it’s all too familiar!!

    remember that your friends and loved ones think you are amazing kathi!! and love you to bits xxxxxxxxxxxx

    ps i had a stock of crap magazines to immerse myself in!! pps LOVE your 101! hugs xxx

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