This is not a cycling blog… It’s a confessional

This is Ray’s first blog post, in support of his fundraising drive for Children with Cancer. You can find his Just Giving page here.

 
I’m staring at a blank computer screen, my first tentative words eluding me as the kids jostle in the background. As someone so introvert, writing doesn’t come naturally and I’m feeling apprehensive. It turns out that blogging is a lot tougher than it looks.
I may as well begin with a bit of honesty.
I’ll admit to being haunted by memories of the last two years.
I remember Vega being upset at nursery the weeks before diagnosis.
Was she crying because of the ache in her bones? Or was she upset being separated from Mum? Was I dropping Vega off to endurerather than enjoy a day at nursery?
I remember the fateful text message which started the whole saga. Then having to phone the boss 5 hours later, stuttering and blubbering down the phone whilst trying to explain why I wouldn’t be at work for the foreseeable future.
I remember bracing myself before entering the suffocating hospital room and seeing Vega, eyes sunken, lifeless.

 

We’ve been helped, and it feels right to help others.
I haven’t chosen to Cycle 1000 miles because I thought it would be fun. I’ve chosen to do it because I need some closure to this chapter. And why not do so while doing some good, knowing that money raised will give some hope to others who need it.
These are just a few memories that haunt and motivate me in equal measures.
These memories will carry me over the hills, through the headwinds and rain.

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One thought on “This is not a cycling blog… It’s a confessional

  1. not sure how i missed this Ray, but it is so so moving and also so wonderful to hear your voice, a Fathers voice and i am deeply grateful xxx

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