It is spring. The equinox yesterday makes promises of better weather, more light and longer days.
Since we left the hospital on Wednesday I have felt very down. I think part of it is feeling utterly spend, due to lack of sleep, daylight and nutritious food. The other reason is feeling like my security blanket has just been snatched from me. Maintenance has provided me with a sense of security, a feeling that we were through the worst. But last week’s episode of low bloods, mucositis and liver problems were but a stark reminder that we are by no means out of the shits yet. Everything still seems so fragile and it will certainly not be over until the fat lady sings.
I feel so desperate for our equinox, a turning point when I can finally feel like things will get better, without having to fear that we are caught in a blizzard again.