15 days to go.

Today- I am feeling grateful. I think it was my number blog yesterday. I look at those numbers and keep thinking “that is not bad at all”. Once one of your children gets ill, really ill, you inevitably see other children be really ill too. You spend time in children wards, become part of internet forums, join support groups and in general your awareness of other people’s misery seems heightened. We have met so many children who are very poorly and who are going through so very much. I have admired their strength and their parents strength more than anything over these last few years. I have gained a respect for human ability to cope that is hard to express.

Those numbers yesterday seem a lot, but it is the absence of other numbers that make me grateful today. Vega never had surgery, never had to endure Radiotherapy, she never had seizures or lost consciousness. We have never been told that this is really touch and go, or that there is nothing else anyone could do. We never had lingering uncertainty about what it was that we were dealing with. I am grateful for that.

I often have doubts about the blog. I often think that I have no right to complain, given that our treatment is so very straight forward. I think about my readers, and that some of you might have a much harder time and that I could somewhat offend you by whining on about our convenient type of cancer. As we are counting down this has become a reoccurring theme hasn’t it? It is on my mind a lot. I think it is a sign of hope, because I am beginning to believe that Vega will be ok. And for that I am grateful too.

Vega is in school today. Her mouth is looking much better and I hope the rest of her system is going to catch up soon. The nurses are coming today to take more bloods and check the clotting again, but I expect everything to be fine. Vega hasn’t had any more nosebleeds since the transfusion and is acting well. I am looking through some pictures and found this one. Slide

Vega sliding at the Malcom Sargent House a month ago. I am so grateful she is here.



5 thoughts on “15 days to go.

  1. I am grateful that you share – so honestly and openly. I just referred a supervisee to your blog to help with her work (DMP with seriously ill kids) – she texted me an hour later saying ‘Incredible – thank you – am in tears’ – your words reach so many, mean so much and so many are grateful.

    and as for a ‘convenient’ cancer – well laughing at that notion. yes i know what you mean but still had to smile.

    Kathi you a phenomenal woman and mother – thank god you are on this earth!! counting down the days – tick tock.
    love you sue xx


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