Delayed delayed intensification

Yes, that is not a mistake. We are delayed in delayed intensification. Just as we were getting ready for a mega long day at the Marsden tomorrow and a week of Cytarabines, Vega’s bloods came back today and her neutrophils are once again very very low, so all has to be on hold until her counts recover. I guess I could be happy about the fact that we have another week without hospital appointments and Vega is in quite good spirits, but when I got the call from the Marsden today I was frustrated. We are so close now to starting long term maintenance, and somehow I have got it in my head that all will be better then (it might not..). Just four more weeks and we are done with the blocks and starting a routine that is hopefully less demanding on both body and mind for Vega. As well as my desire to just be done with this part it also is a “logistic inconvenience” to reschedule everything by a week (hopefully not longer than that!). Ray had holidays booked to help out, I had made plans for Lyra and Alys (plans obviously in the loosest sense of the meaning). Vega is due to start nursery in the second week of September and she would have been finished with this block by then, but now she won’t and it is unlikely she will start with all the other children. She will start eventually, I know that, but I thought it would be nicer for her to start with everyone at the beginning, rather than joining a group that knows each other already.

Writing like this I notice how much I am going on about the inconvenience that is, essentially, cancer. I guess it is a good sign that I am complaining about it, since it must mean that I am not so used to the constant inconvenience of it anymore. In the beginning of Vega’s treatment I could not make any plans. I could not say what would happen the following day, sometimes not even in the night. With time we have begun to expect certain things to happen, bloods to recover, moods to get better, appetite to increase or decrease, sickness to subside or come. Now it is not the inconvenience of all this that frustrates me but if we are being held up while traveling on our path of inconvenience so to speak.
How many times have I written the word inconvenience now? You get the drift…

Well now then I shall look at the bright side and enjoy this extra week off, with Ray at home as a bonus. Even with low counts I say the cinema beckons for some new Disney action and what could be a better film than one that speaks of bravery?

I do hope that these very low neutrophil counts do not indicate another hospital stint for febrile neutropenia is on the cards- now THAT would be an inconvenience (ie. major pain in the ass)!

Vega’s blood counts 20/08/12

Vega’s counts first, average in brackets behind.

HB (red blood cells)- 7.4  (9.5-15)

WBC (white blood cells)- 1.19  (4.5-11)

Neutrophils (infection fighting part of the white blood cells)- 0.17   (>1 is not neutropenic, normal range starts at 3)

Platelets 207  (150-450)

Vega’s neutrophils have to recover to at least 0.75 to recommence chemo, red blood is also close to our ‘need for transfusion’ cut-off of 7.

All together now: