Bed time blog

You all must have guessed that we have long left the hospital. Vega was fine and after four days we made our escape.
I am finding myself writing less and less, partly because of practical reasons, like no computer time, and partly because I feel I have nothing to write about. I have used this blog now for over a year to write about me, Vega, all of us and our journey through this mess. I have never longed to be comforted or praised, not even understood but merely heard. For that, the blog became invaluable.
I also found that the blog served another purpose- it keeps our families and friends informed and I guess in a way it answers questions that might be too difficult to talk about face to face.

I have become tired of talking about Vega’s illness. I am repeating myself so often, to all the Doctors and Health Professionals that we meet on so many occasions. I hear myself repeating the same medical history over and over, the medications. Those are such empty words, so removed from the reality, from our hardships and our triumphs. It has been such a long time! We have been doing this for such a long time.

I don’t want to bore you. As this is not my private diary, but a public blog, I do feel a responsibility to write something worth reading. And even if this has been going on and on, I think I have a responsibility to Vega to continue to document this crazy ride of hers.

But some days it just bores me. The stress, the worry, it is boring. Talking about it, thinking about it is tedious. I do not escape it by not writing about it. But after a whole day of dealing with it, I don’t want to write about it after everyone has gone to bed. This stuff needs to be put to bed sometimes too.

bor·ing (bôrng, br-)
Uninteresting and tiresome; dull.
boring·ly adv.
boring·ness n.
Synonyms: boring, monotonous, tedious, irksome, tiresome, humdrum
These adjectives refer to what is so uninteresting as to cause mental weariness. Boring implies feelings of listlessness and discontent: I had never read such a boring book.
What is monotonous bores because of lack of variety: “There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea” (James Russell Lowell).
Tedious suggests dull slowness or long-windedness: Traveling by plane avoids spending tedious days on the train.
Irksome describes what is demanding of time and effort and yet is dull and often unrewarding: “I know and feel what an irksome task the writing of long letters is” (Edmund Burke).
Something tiresome fatigues because it seems to be interminable or to be marked by unremitting sameness: “What a tiresome being is a man who is fond of talking” (Benjamin Jowett).
Humdrum refers to what is commonplace, trivial, or unexcitingly routine: My quiet cousin led a humdrum existence.


3 thoughts on “Bed time blog

  1. Ha ha Kathi, what you write certainly isn’t boring, even the most bored ones! You certainly are a talented writer! All my love. Xxx

  2. I completely agree with Selma above! I also totally hear you, I hope that one day soon you will all be released from the tedium of all this. Thinking of you. x

  3. yet again you talk from my heart!! had our first big staff meeting tonight and we were asked to ‘quickly’ express our hopes n fears – I couldn’t say anything – nothing quickly – it is all too vast – too long and so utterly meaningless and yet so totally poignant – I share your tiredness at it all.

    want a larf? I have had 6 meetings now to have a handrail put in for access and safety to the building – 6 discussions, one failed handrail (was either a rail for a dwarf or a ballet barre for a 4 yr old!) – times to get the height right to find they have now put it in too high (contravenes legal restrictions!) so i go down for the 7th time to meet the health n safety woman (who is as pissed off as me) to find – wait for it………….. a fucking bicycle chained to it!!!!!!!!!!!! so tired of of it all…….
    the bike had a slogan on it saying @the smart way to travel’ i stuck a note on the saddle saying ‘not so smart to block access for a disabled user’s handrail!!!’

    good on ya for finding words for the long term exhaustion of it all and keeping us updated, moved to the core and walking with you.

    much love to you as ever

    ps just to update you my latest bloods are clear (had weird sensations last week and for the 1st time had that sinking feeling that something was wrong) anyway all clear on the western front and riding off into the land of boredom! xxxxxxxxxxx

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